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Thursday, September 29, 2016

Question & Answer: Do You Feel Pressure?

I've got a super busy day today which is going to leave me little time to be on the computer but I did want to take a moment and answer the following question I received ...

(I'll be back tonight to post our weekend assignment.)

I didn't know you were the wife of a Pastor. Just had a thought... do you feel pressure to be the 'Proverb's 31' woman? I think you are frugal because you need to be and it just makes sense, but do you feel like people are watching what you do and judging you if you aren't constantly on the ball saving and making? What if you 'slacked' off, would you feel guilty? Thanks for answering.

My response ...

While it is true that a minister's wife is under a lot of scrutiny and often times held to a higher standard than other women, I try really hard to go on with my life and be me.  I was frugal before I was a minister's wife.  I was a Christian before I was a minister's wife.  I had a preparedness mindset before I was a minister wife.  Becoming a minister's wife did not change who I am.

Do I feel like people are watching what I do and judging me if I'm not constantly on the ball saving and making?  No, if this is the mindset of those who know me they've done a good job of hiding it.  I truly do not dwell on this kind of thinking nor allow myself to get caught up in this mindset. (I enjoy a splurge every now and then just as much as any other woman!)

Do I feel pressure to be the Proverbs 31 woman?  No, I truly do not.  

What if you slacked off, would you feel guilt?  No, I've taken great care to NOT portray myself as perfect.  I don't want others to view me as that way nor do I want to put that kind of pressure on myself.  I'm not perfect, I can't be perfect.  I 'm just an ordinary woman striving to be pleasing to God.   

Note:  We worship and my husband works with a really great group of people.  We've been at this congregation for 13 years, they know me, warts and all and they still love me.  Not everyone has the same frugal/preparedness mindset that I do and that is okay.  I gladly share my 'talent' with those who are interested but don't look down on or push it on those who are not.  

I hope this answers your question!


patsi
She looketh well to the ways of her household … Proverbs 31:27

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A Working Pantry is more than just about food! It's about household items needed to keep my home running smoothly readily available when needed.  It's about keeping a gift trunk so that I'm ready for any gift giving occasion.  It's about a lifestyle.  It's about keeping my home and looking well to the ways of my household and it's about doing it all as frugally as possible.  I hope you enjoy what you read here.

8 comments:

  1. I found your blog through another I was reading, and am loving the information that you are sharing with us. I've read back through and am now really interested in seeing your home come together through yours and your husband's hard work. Thank you for sharing with us.

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    1. Welcome! I'm glad you are enjoying what you find here!

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  2. Patsy, as you know I was also a preacher's wife for 50+ years. Early in our married life I did feel that the congregation was judging us, me, my children and my husband. I felt for years that I could not have one close friend, but I should be the friend to all the ladies. You know it's hard to not have that one close friend that you can bare your soul to. Then we moved to the congrgation where one of the elders and his wife had been our friends in college. Were we closer to them during the 5 years we were there? You bet! Our children were the same ages and nearly every Sunday some of our children spent the afternoon together. So I had a close friend there. And I was critized for that. The next place we lived I had two sisters in law in the congregation. By this time I had determined that I needed a personal friend where ever we lived. At one congregation where we worked I had my closest friend. We were both attacked at the same time by one of the male members. I think he was jealous of us. Even though rhis friend and I live 7-8 hours apart, we still call each other frequently.

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    1. Quilting Grannie, things like this make me so sad. The potential is in every congregation and all it takes is one disgruntled member to get something started. If everyone would refuse to participate in these kinds of attacks just think how much more effective the Church could be!

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  3. I am so glad that you do not feel the unfair pressure that is put on some pastor's wives to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman. I have a dear friend who is a pastor's wife and it seems that no matter what she did, someone would criticize her for her and her husband's choices. It ranged from their choice to homeschool their children for a time in their lives, the size of their family, how they spent their money, etc.. She would be the first person to tell you that she is not perfect and was just doing her best. It always bothered me that people expected her to drop everything to be there for them 24/7 while she was in such a busy time in her life raising her children.

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    Replies
    1. Debbie, your friends first priority after God is her husband and her children. Period! I am sorry that your friend has had to endure this kind of persecution.

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  4. Hi Patsy!

    Yes, women's work at home is very down to earth, and it is a joy to share the wonder and beauty with others! Since our work is all about building up people, there really should be no pressure to perform. (Conversely, there should also be no pressure to underperform!) We know life doesn't work like that. We know that we rely totally on the Eternal's strength.

    Regards,
    Rachel Holt

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